Tuesday, 24 July 2007

In aestu, solacium

Having found an internet connection, and a rare half hour, I thought I'd just do a little post to keep you amused...
Thanks to anglicana ecclesia (despite the name, I think it's a Catholic site) for this:

"The Work of the Parish Priest"
During a Eucharistic Congress, a number of priests from different orders are gathered in a church for Vespers. While they are praying, a fuse blows and all the lights go out. The Benedictines continue praying from memory, without missing a beat. The Jesuits begin to discuss whether the blown fuse means they are dispensed from the obligation to pray Vespers. The Franciscans compose a song of praise for God's gift of darkness. The Dominicans revisit their ongoing debate on light as a
signification of the transmission of divine knowledge. The Carmelites fall
into silence and slow, steady breathing.
The parish priest, who is hosting the others, goes to the basement and replaces the fuse.
Source: http://catholicfire.blogspot.com/

I have to say it rings bells!

I love this one:
A young man is thinking of becoming a Catholic priest, so he goes to talk to his pastor about the different religious orders. "What can you tell me about the Dominicans?" he asks. "Oh, they were formed in the Thirteenth Century to combat the Albigensian heresy," the priest replies.
"And the Jesuits?"
"They were formed in the Sixteenth Century in response to the Protestant Reformation."
The young man looks puzzled. "So what's the big difference between them?"
"When was the last time you saw an Albigensian?"


Fr Justin said...

Please don't post telling me that 'anglicana ecclesia' is simply a quote from Magna Carta, meaning the [Roman Catholic] Church in England. I know that!

Mac McLernon said...

Very old jokes, Fr Justin... but definitely worth waiting for!

BTW, what goes black-white-black-white-black-white thump?

A Dominican falling down stairs.

What is black and goes tee-hee-hee?

The Jesuit who pushed him...

Mark said...

A couple old favorites! thanks for the reminder, needed a grin!

Karen H. -- San Diego, Ca. said...

Love those. I first heard #1 joke a number of years ago (I think in that version they had the Jesuit walk over and change the lightbulb) but now I finally have the joke in writing! Well done.

Hope there is not too much rain where you are. If the animals start gathering two by two it's time to get out.

Karen H. -- San Diego, Ca. said...

Oh, and given all the rain you're having in the UK....

A man was trapped in a flooded area and water had already risen to the porch level...boat rescue teams were out on the job, and when they saw the guy standing his porch, they said:
"Hey buddy, jump in the boat, the flood waters are rising." He said "No thanks, the Lord will save me."
Hours go by, and a dam has broken and he's really in trouble...as the water has reached just under the eaves, and the man is now on top of the roof. A helicopter comes by and lowers a ladder to him. "Jump on buddy, so we can get you out of here." "No thanks, the Lord will save me."

The man dies, and He goes to heaven. He says "Lord, I thought you'd save me." And God says "I sent you a boat and a helicopter, what else did you want?"

John said...

I'm afraid I've had to steal the latter for my own blog :D

Sorry, and thanks!

Anonymous said...

love it...

Ma Beck said...

Aw, man, you're gonna make me do it.

A group of nuns goes to a baseball game. There are several rowdy drunks in the row behind them. The drunks are becoming louder and louder, insulting the Catholic Church and the nuns.
One of the drunks slurs, "You know, I'd like to go to Alabama - there are only 3000 Catholics in Alabama!"
The next drunk slurs, "You know, I'd like to go to Utah - there are only 2000 Catholics in Utah!" The next guy says, "I'd like to go to China. There are only 1000 Catholics there!"
At this point the mother superior whips around and sneers, "Why don't you just go to Hell? There are no Catholics there."

Ba dump bump.